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today me and hannah discovered that there is mandi bunga kit available for sale on shopee

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just saw someone's wife on twitter needing an urgent intestinal surgery after cesarean procedure. being a mom takes away so much, and even this, is an understatement. 

ugh

i hate long journeys. why does my brother have to apply to a course in penang.

my buttock is numb and i'm just carsick eighty percent of time. 

aaaahhhh

exam days finally over!

next exam is in april, then may, but yeah, that's for later. today was somewhere between nice and not. a lukewarm day?

yeah. so i had physical examination today. marsha is on morning session, while i'm @ 4th, and thankfully my ex-pblmates from 2022 is in the same session, so we revised a bit before entering the examination ward. 

while i think i did lymph node exam & history taking good, i didn't do really well on the other two stations. after assessing glasgow coma scale (which i was very sure will come out after discussing with marsha but still half-bombed it anyway - uh screw pupil size range), i went to rest station since i was the first in the group, so my last two stations would be rest station 6 & 7. each station is about 6 min so i had to wait doing basically nothing... and suddenly a boy who waited with me in the room started sniffling a couple of times. initially thought he had very bad acute rhinorrhea but suddenly he broke into wretched sobs for a full four minute. i was so shocked i couldn't say a thing and just flicked my pen torchlight around the room to kill my boredom... and that boy walked out to his last station (which thankfully is lymph node exam, not history taking) with beet red face beneath his mask.

if i have to take a rough guess, it must be the gcs station doctor... she was practically berating me with a smile plastered on her face. that's even scarier, no?! my bet is that guy went through the same. hope he's okay though. 

luckily, the other girl who came to the rest station afterward chatted with me since we both have done with our examination. she's going to have big dinner on friday for chinese new year with her maternal family... and that she can't wait for the angpao since her maternal side consists of many aunts and uncles! then she asked me where i'm from. upon hearing my answer, she said that's good, because i could possibly work @ this neighbouring country's hospital. i think it's interesting how jb is associated with working @ singapore, though i told her that i don't live in jb. we congratulatory hugged each other before we parted ways as the red light lit up and the last bell ding: end of examination! 

my roommate also had her paediatric end of posting exam today, and currently i'm alone in the room typing this as she already boarded the bus back home. i'll be going home tomorrow, and skipping two days of classes. that's today in a wrap. till then! 

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do you think i have butterfingers?

you slipping off my grasp and all. 

truthfully

a grudge that distills is never mine.

forever uncertain if the very day i can displace the anger off my chest will ever come.

hey

just moved college.

these days i just attend all the classes and it hasn't been as taxing as it was. it helps me participate in pbl sessions better too. also... been alone for some nights, my roommate was visiting a relative and suddenly her grandfather passed away so she had to go to terengganu. thankfully my former roommates are just several footsteps away, so we have meals together often. for 2024, i've been keeping track of my expenses as well. and exam is less than one month from now, it gets me really anxious, actually.

idk, maybe i'll study tomorrow, today i really slept so long after being back from class it almost felt like a hibernation. my customer's parcel had an issue of overlapping tracking number so i had to go back and forth to posthub. she's so nice and she's been looking for the photocard for quite a long time, so i really hope things will smooth out.

anyway, i really want to complete writing my stories on ao3, but it has been really hard to write lately... let alone draw. somehow not being able to construct words / create art as beautifully as others does leave me feeling debilitated at heart.

wish i could continue writing after exam ends. i really miss writing. 

merry january

thought i left the stagnant station. apparently not yet.

being a memory hoarder sucks as much as it is blissful. you cull over every page trying to sunder the halves you want to erase but everything seems to hold the same important weight.